In case I’ve let you believe that I have spiritually evolved past anger or rage or pettiness, this post will let you see what egoic consciousness looks like before I process it and return to Source.
Without personalizing it, I’m PO’d at what I’m manifesting with men. I’m feeling alot like Artemis – like her, I see men as creatures seeking to take my freedom away or bind me. So let’s look at what I’m manifesting:
Men who do not act in integrity.
Men who are childish.
Men who are unhealed and unwilling to own it but keep coming back to me for insight and growth.
Men who want to heal me.
Men who think a romantic relationship is what I want and who are looking for egoic compatability.
I’m also manifesting a number of beautiful, growthful and purposeful things, but you see that in other posts.
No, tonight is about rawness, and going in to the experience so I can finally fully and completely say good bye to the BS consciousness that I have used and attracted men with.
So, goodbye to the part of me that sacrificed integrity for safety and family. Goodbye to the part of me that was stuck in emotional immaturity. Goodbye to men who cannot stand in true equality with me – not as a statement of value or superiority but as a claim to requiring self awareness as the minimum entrance requirement.
Goodbye to any part of me that thinks I’m in a place of need, or feeling pain from being caught in my partners’ limitations. Goodbye to anything in me that believes I would ever sacrifice consciousness for relationship. Or that I would limit myself in any way. Goodbye to anything in me that believes I am not free.
I know this is completely egoic, and its fine…shadow work is still healing work. Releasing this flow of energy is spiritual work and looking inwards at where its source is will ultimately result in truth. There will be light and love eventually.
But right now, just be thankful I don’t own a bow.