Wanting What I Want


Tantra recognizes the Law of Attraction and it was discussed like this by my teacher:

“Its a sobering invitation to look at your life and to realize you are getting what you want. Where do you place your attention?  What are the values you are actually holding now instead of the ones you want to hold? Often when we tell people what we value its what we want to value.  And as soon as you start to hold them,  they immediately start to show up in your life.

Its a good exercise to be able to differentiate between what you want and what you want to want. It takes work to line those up. But the state of your life right now is a function of what you want. Everybody is getting what they want all the time.  You may not realize that you are believing in your stories, and your life is the fruit of that. Some part of you wants to believe in your stories.

Everything you give conscious attention to – thoughts, stories, actions, speech – wherever you are putting conscious attention is where you are manifesting the quality of your life.”  -Christopher Hareesh Wallis,  Light on the Path course

I was reflecting on how much has changed in the last year. While many circumstances have changed as well as relationships, the biggest change is in me. I am so differently aligned within myself that it is actually painful when I revert to old patterns. That is not to say they are gone. My body-mind patterns still want to assert themselves. But the duration and influence are much diminished.

I have been visioning using new techniques, which are about opening myself to the flow of my heart and soul desires. In the past, my visioning has been about asserting my personal will. As a result, nothing arises effortlessly. And it was always about meeting some standard or fitting into my story of what ought to be.

Hareesh’s point about knowing what you want versus wanting to want something was an “Aha” moment for me. I’ve wanted to want too many things in my life, reflected in my relationship, my job and my friendships. Ultimately, the energy cost to try to be ok with what is not true of me is too big. It is like a constant leak in my energy field.

Do I know what I want? Not completely. I have only started to let the true me direct my energy. I can feel major changes coming. I am already seeing the universe presenting ways for me to consult in Mexico, within a week of saying no to Nigeria. I am having lots of business potential flow as people just say yes to supporting my business. And my self love is flowering – I’m curious everyday to see how I will manifest and experience the divine play.


One thought on “Wanting What I Want

  1. lelahb39 says:

    Inspiring and hopeful!

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