Remember Kindergarten Cop and the famous clip “It’s not a Toomah!: http://youtu.be/OaTO8_KNcuo?”
I sat in Emergency for 4 hours yesterday. I was sent by Health Links because I had pain in my back and chest, left arm and couldn’t get a full breath in. When I arrived at the ER, my blood pressure was alarmingly high. They did an EKG and blood work immediately.
The entire time I was there, I knew I wasn’t sick. The test results confirmed no heart problems. Yet, a number of other fears came up. I felt ashamed that I could be sick. My faith was rocked by the idea that I could be sick – I am more well than I’ve ever been. I live in more balance and harmony than ever. What was arising in me was the same stuff I felt around intimate relationships in my past: that despite everything I believed and all the wellness I was enacting, nothing I did was enough. With relationships, the line went no matter what I did or how good it was or how much I tried, I was never enough for him. And here I am considering a heart problem. Heart chakra is about emotional energy, giving and receiving love. I can’t say I’m in perfect flow there. But it has been a significant area of focus and healing. Suddenly in the ER, I doubted my consciousness again.
I am proud that I had no doubts or fears about recovery or even death. My issue was fear that I was creating unconsciously. Again.
Of course, once the heart was ruled out, it turned out to be a rib, possibly strained from uber yoga lately. A quick visit to the chiropractor and I feel great.
So what do I know: I know this was a perfect demonstration of my ongoing growth. I know I am well. I know I am aware of and attending to false beliefs. I know I am in greater alignment with consciousness as demonstrated by my lack of fear. I know it happened for me, not to me. I know I had support coming at me from all angles from my deep relationships. I know I see the beauty in what happened. And I am releasing old patterns in my body mind instead of being a victim to them.