Sattva: It’s not a Toomah!

Remember Kindergarten Cop and the famous clip “It’s not a Toomah!:”

I sat in Emergency for 4 hours yesterday. I was sent by Health Links because I had pain in my back and chest, left arm and couldn’t get a full breath in. When I arrived at the ER, my blood pressure was alarmingly high.  They did an EKG and blood work immediately. 

The entire time I was there,  I knew I wasn’t sick. The test results confirmed no heart problems.  Yet, a number of other fears came up. I felt ashamed that I could be sick.  My faith was rocked by the idea that I could be sick – I am more well than I’ve ever been. I live in more balance and harmony than ever.  What was arising in me was the same stuff I felt around intimate relationships in my past: that despite everything I believed and all the wellness I was enacting, nothing I did was enough. With relationships,  the line went no matter what I did or how good it was or how much I tried, I was never enough for him. And here I am considering a heart problem. Heart chakra is about emotional energy, giving and receiving love. I can’t say I’m in perfect flow there. But it has been a significant area of focus and healing. Suddenly in the ER, I doubted my consciousness again.

I am proud that I had no doubts or fears about recovery or even death. My issue was fear that I was creating unconsciously.  Again.

Of course,  once the heart was ruled out, it turned out to be a rib, possibly strained from uber yoga lately.  A quick visit to the chiropractor and I feel great.

So what do I know: I know this was a perfect demonstration of my ongoing growth. I know I am well. I know I am aware of and attending to false beliefs. I know I am in greater alignment with consciousness as demonstrated by my lack of fear. I know it happened for me, not to me. I know I had support coming at me from all angles from my deep relationships. I know I see the beauty in what happened. And I am releasing old patterns in my body mind instead of being a victim to them.



4 thoughts on “Sattva: It’s not a Toomah!

  1. Glad you are ok. Good health my friend.

  2. Angela says:

    I love the statement “happening for me not to me”
    Thank you.
    You’re very inspiring in your ability to see clearly what is happening with speed and grace.

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