I could go over the circumstances, and you might nod and agree on my sadness. You might even offer me support.
But that’s not the point today. I’m sad, and my energy of sadness kept me home instead of going out and keeping the plans I had. I watched a sad movie, and cried. In fact, in keeping with the lessons of the day, it was the type of movie that has unfair and tragic death in it, which usually makes me feel grief and sorrow, frustration and helplessness.
And here is where the tantra comes in: I’m sad but I’m not suffering. Its not about tolerating the sadness, or getting tougher or numb. Its not about talking myself through it, and rationalizing it. I haven’t gone to anyone for a pep talk. I’m not looking for a shoulder to cry on. It isn’t even about the catharsis of weeping.
Its about applying tantra. I feel the flow of energy called sadness. Its in my chest and stomach. My body feels drained. I’m uninspired. I’m irritable. But I am not identifying with it. It isn’t a struggle to not be overwhelmed, which it would have been in the past. I’m not lost to it and I’m not making it bigger. I simply am not holding it, grabbing it, fighting it or trying to block it.
I’m not talking about transcendence. I’m not above it all and so calm that it has no impact. I feel it. I really do. It is simply not truth – not in the sense that what is real and true is my Consciousness. I’ve done enough work to recognize that thoughts and emotions are projections so I observe instead of adding to them.
“Human insanity is giving as much significance to memories or imagination as to what is true in this present moment.” -Christopher Hareesh Wallis. In this moment, I’m experiencing sensations and energy that I call sad. But I am the consciousness through which that experience is observed. I am not the sadness.
Sadness is not suffering.