Tall, strong, broad shouldered, charismatic, intense and highly skilled or accomplished in his field. That’s my type. That’s what generally attracts me.
And then I changed. I found myself attracted to something quite different and I couldn’t understand why. So I made a story that explained it. My story was that we had connection and that the soul connection was drawing me despite the lack of fit with my type. In the end, it was something much different and it made me ask why did this happen, what truth was revealed. The search for that answer freed me.
Evolution says we are attracted to characteristics that give us advantage in survival, and my “type” certainly fits that. Psychologists say we are attracted to the person most likely to trigger our unhealed family issues and traumas. Metaphysics says we are attracted to those in vibrational harmony with our beliefs.
Last summer, I sent out the vibration of “I want a relationship”. Men in my real world and my virtual world came running to fill that vibration. Of course, none of them fit with my core beliefs and I withdrew from all of them.
My friend suggested to me that with my focus on consciousness, it may be very unlikely for me to find someone. Adyashanti said something similar in one of his talks. So that became my belief. I only wanted a relationship of consciousness. And the universe offered me just that. I had the chance to deepen in a relationship of consciousness – and it wasn’t enough.
“Look at the whole of reality, ” my teacher said. That means not just looking at what I feel, but looking at what is in front of me without the story. The more I do that, the more my beliefs have shifted. And what I’m attracting is so different, I would not have believed it possible.
I am attracting men and women who are emotionally available. People who respect me, and who give to me without expectations. I’m attracting men with purpose and who know themselves. I’m attracting people who don’t fit the “Culture of Consciousness” but who are deeply conscious. I’m living in a world where people are saying Yes to my invitation to deepen in relationship with me. I’m being surprised because they show up in unexpected and amazing ways.
Attraction is a belief system. Love underwrites all of our relationships. We don’t have to look for someone special and unique who will spark that. It occurs when we allow it. And we may allow it in very prescribed conditions. But that is a reflection of what we believe.