Paying the Ego

“I’m done perpetuating my ego through struggle and making you be the witness of it,” I texted him.

“Its all good, ” he answered, “I’m sorry I haven’t been available for you. ”

Except, his lack of availability was a key part of my growth. I share my heart and soul with him because he will hold me accountable to my higher values. By witnessing me, I don’t get to hide my ego’s subtler patterns.

There is a fine line between inquiry and feeding the ego by constantly trying to get the story right. Or by sharing your flaws while re-energizing them by constantly looking at them.

I realized that my sharing had turned into a way of focusing on and energizing my ego.

“I would rather start to tell you about my moments of deepening and consciousness, ” I said.

“That would be good for you, ” he replied.

And then this came in to my email today:

You get what you pay for, and you pay for what you think about. 

Literally, 
The Universe
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