“You know, there is a reason you have been in relationships with younger men,” he said, looking me directly in the eyes.
I looked away. Younger men were not right for me, and I knew it. But my ego still wanted to play. “But the consciousness community is mostly younger men,” I said, rationalizing. “Plus age isn’t important for consciousness. ”
He looked at me with tenderness but also in a way that was clear he knew I knew I was off field with this one. “Maybe, but how can he deepen in consciousness and emotional connection if he hasn’t had time to grow in himself? I think this is about you, anyway,” and he took my hand for a moment.
I can’t disagree although I’ve spent time trying to understand what is beneath it. Psychologically I could say I feel in control and safer. But its more likely that it suited my identity as a mother and caregiver.
As I meditated on the beach today, I realized something huge shifted in me. Younger men are not drawing my attention anymore. I watched a young woman have a conversation that I had 20 years ago and realized I’ve moved so far from identifying with the things that seem so important when one is 28. Like her, I’ve been a political activist, a social activist, a spiritual activist. And there is a deeper truth beneath all of these. Like any other part of this life, identifying with any of these things is still an illusion. Possibly a worthwhile illusion that serves to elevate our collective consciousness but it is still only part truth.
And that’s where Too Young is relevant. It isn’t about age. Its about levels of spiritual and emotional growth. Its about being able to relate to each other. It’s about readiness to walk together.
Its about me and my readiness to face myself, know myself and value my journey independent of any other. And if someone can keep up with my pace, is on my path, we will walk together as equals.