In Love With My Best Friend

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Lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
-Jason Mraz

I have probably dated over 50 men in my life. Some of them were first dates that never grew into a second date. Many were second and third dates that really couldn’t go somewhere. 

I think I married both my husbands because they were great husband material, and hoped from the love we had I could deepen into something more. Bad strategy, it turns out, because I fall in love with my best friends.

Over tea one night, in utter frustration,  I asked him, “Then what is the purpose of relationship?  Isn’t that where we partner to grow in consciousness, to heal, to share? ”

He smiled at me and put his hand over mine. “No, dear. We realize we really like someone and that we have been growing with them,  sharing. He will probably be your best friend.”

That made so much sense. I dated like someone screening job applicants. That’s not to say I didn’t love – I was in love with both husbands. But we couldn’t deepen.  Then I found someone who could relate to me spiritually but who couldn’t deepen with me into an actual relationship. Along the way, I realized I don’t value “in love”. I value deepening. 

I value deepening.  I value creating sacred space – emotionally and spiritually – and prizing that above all else. From this place, I can be in sacred physical union. 

But first, we need to laugh together.  We need to share world views over tea. We need to see plays and movies. We need to cook together,  and work on projects that allow co-creation.  We need to share stories at the end of the day. 

And then, my best friend, we need to be able to deepen. Only then will I fall in love with you.

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3 thoughts on “In Love With My Best Friend

  1. shivanimalik says:

    Reblogged this on shivanimalik and commented:
    Very beautiful

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