To Those I Love But Must Leave

This letter is to friends and family whom I love but cannot find right relationship, and so have said goodbye.  

My love,

I love you so deeply. I have struggled so much to accept that my life is better without you.  I never thought that was possible. I never wanted that to be possible. But there are things I value more: freedom, awakening, connectedness. And there are things you value more, too.

I have so many memories of wonderful times. Times we were close.  When we had a bond,  valued the same things.  Had so much in common. Our in-jokes. How perfect it felt when you hugged me.

I remember all the ways you helped me become who I am today. I can trace this beautiful path of light as my soul is igniting into Consciousness.  You were part of that.  You taught me. And even though it is painful to try to relate to you,  you are a part of me.

My love,  I want nothing more than for you to chose happiness and know your truth.  I tried for so long to be part of that.  But in the trying, I was dying. It hurt so much. I was annihilated. And in response,  I had to end the relationship so I could come back to life. It looks like I blame you or that I’m angry. But deep inside, I just felt like a failure.  I felt that I must not have loved you enough. Or that something was very wrong with me. And that’s a war that ego won every time. Until now.

My love, I forgive you.  I forgive me. We did our very best to meet our needs. We worked within our conditioned consciousness.  You didn’t fail me. Nor I, you.  I know you are the best You that you know how to be. As am I. I no longer need you to affirm that in me.

My love, in time, I will be completely free of these illusions of my mind. And while we will never have the relationship I dreamed of, hoped for, committed to…I will always love you.  Always. Even when it looks like I have pushed you away, rejected you,  or judged you.  That is not truth.  Only my love is truth. And yours.

This lifetime is so small compared to the truth.  And when we are free of this life, and our energy returns to essence nature and Oneness, how tiny this seperateness will seem.

I love you.  I’m grateful for you,  not only in my life but in this world as the gift you are. You are beautiful,  in all the faces you wear.

Namaste,  my love.

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