There is a saying that “the heart wants what the heart wants.” For me, this has been a mind trap, as I rarely understood what my heart wanted.
Spiritual practice also says that our life is a perfect reflection of what we value. My mind would roil at this, because my life was filled with things I did not want.
A quotation from Speaking the Language of the Heart class I’m taking has provided clarity and illumination to me on where this has broken down for me:
“Whatever we think, feel, do and say is an attempt to meet a human universal need.” – Marshall Rosenberg
Alejandra Siroka tells us that feelings are indicators of what we value in a particular moment. When our values are nourished, we feel things like affection, excitement, peace and gratitide. When our values are calling our attention, we feel afraid, annoyed, sad or have a sense of yearning.
Our common human values are things like connection, physical wellbeing, honesty, meaning, peace or autonomy. As I consider the list of values we explored in class, I realize why I’m happy – I have been nurturing my deepest needs since ending my relationships. I have a few needs that are high priorities: belonging and connection, honesty and integrity, play and laughter, and meaningful, conscious living. Those needs were woefully neglected while I was in relationship.
What does my heart want? I want to be free of my mind. I want to love without concern for how personality plays out, and feel connection instead of attachment. I want to experience everyone and find the love in that. I want to play and have adventures. I want to share what is important to me, and be open and accepting to what is important in others. I want to speak the language of the heart. That’s what my heart wants. And I have it.