My perfect love is dying. I met him on my birthday and just knew. He was cute, curious, adventurous, smart and affectionate. As our relationship grew, he would sometimes go off on adventures without me. But he always came back and sometimes brought me gifts.
This week he received a terminal diagnosis.
He is also a cat, named George. But in this world of individualized relationships, I try not to be species-ist! 🙂 And any creature can be a spiritual teacher.
George taught me to surrender, to let go and be in love with what is. When I met George, I was reeling from the end of a really challenging and mutually dysfunctional loving relationship. George was a relationship with all the characteristics I desired in my life – and he was a great manifestation of the vibration, ensuring I could attract more fulfilling relationships too.
George was perfect. I have not loved a cat as much as I love him. He was My Cat. And he taught me to let go.
I grasp. I hold on. I struggle against reality. I dread loss, and suffer it for a long time. I fear the loss of loved ones.
Now, after 10 months, he is dying of a rare disease. He may not make it past tonight and certainly not the weekend. But, for the first time, I’m at peace as I provide palliative care to this living love.
I surrender. I surrender to what is. I embrace all of this life, the pain and the joy. They are all just energy.
I will not identify with “it hurts, it is too much, I am too sad.” This is not truth. This is ego grasping at a reason to exist.
I am as in love with the life of this little cat as his death. I am in love with being the one who has loved him and will shepherd him out.
And so it is…