“I don’t look for something outside of myself to fulfill me. I look for everything inside.” These were the words of a man for whom I have great love and admiration as we spoke about his current journey and his upcoming visit.
Since my soul seems intent on not having a romantic relationship right now, it was significant to me to hear these words (because I’m a bit put off that I have a perfect possibility in front of me and my Being says Nope!). Those words put into context the biggest change in me. I definitely continue to have spiritual partnerships develop but the idea of a romantic relationship seems trivial. I don’t say that to diminish the value of such relationships – all love and forms of love are valuable – but on my current path and in comparison to what I’m experiencing with spiritual partners, a lover seems wrong.
I panic sometimes about that and worry that I’m shutting something important off. I fear I’m missing out because of this. I worry that if I don’t find someone right now I will be lonely. Not only is that a horrible reason for relationships, it’s simply not true. I am without a relationship now and I don’t feel lonely. I feel free. I feel like everything I need shows up – not in one person or relationship but in all my life, the whole experience. I’m not lonely.
There may be a day that a relationship shows up and if so, I will be open to it. Mostly, as my beautiful spiritual partner said, my fulfillment is inside me, not something to pursue outside.
Mmmm love the feel of truth. Love the feel of this awakening awareness.