One criticism that is leveled at spiritual seekers is the pattern of running after new spiritual practices as they emerge. In the consciousness community, you can find yourself facing the type of cliqueishness of main stream society. Instead of comparing summer homes, you can be subtly judged for your experiences, or experiences you don’t choose.
One of my biggest ego traps is living up to who I believe I should be as a spiritual person. I should be vegan. I should be up at dawn meditating. I should devote more time to my yoga. I should be a shaman. I should allow Ayahuasca to teach me. I should study more multidimensional beings and develop my relationship with them.
All of that, every single one of those, is a false belief. And similar to other “shoulds”, they are ways of supporting an illusion of ego. It’s a nice spiritual ego. But it’s still ego.
For me, there is an underlying Fear Of Missing Out. What if a multidimensional being is here to guide me? What if the awakening I desire is possible through Ayahuasca? What if I meditated more – would I awaken more quickly?
When I look at those things, it is not that they are bad or don’t hold value. I have a beautiful friend who is a talented curandero. I trust his intentions and his skill completely. I see the beauty and the power in his work. But it is not for me.
It comes back to my intention. I desire awakening more than anything. I desire living from that awakening. It isn’t a mystical experience. I’ve had those. I experienced deep mysticism in Brazil. I’ve traveled beyond space and time. I’ve seen space and time bend. I’ve left my body. I have experienced higher and lower states of consciousness. And so on.
It is that deep prodding of my soul that pushes me and now guides my experiences. There is no judgment of one path being The Path. But there is My Path. When I stray from it, I suffer. I know when I’m not following the wisdom of my Spirit.
The Fear of Missing Out can allow a subtle form of spiritual peer pressure to emerge in our communities. I find myself pulling out of most consciousness communities right now to walk my path. I’m very much on a road between villages today and enjoying the one or two companions who walk with me now. Instead of selfishly protecting my freedom and independence, I see them as irrevocable parts of me.
And I am blessed beyond description.