By Alex Sandra Myleson
I appreciate that you have come into my life to teach me, to push me and to trigger so many emotions that have tried frantically to bury deep inside.
Falling in love was the easy bit, now we have to figure a way through life together and ensure that of all the things that will forsake us along the way, our love is not one of them.
There will be good times and there will be bad, but throughout it all, these are my vows:
Today I will love you more than I did yesterday, our love will grow stronger daily, despite any troubles that come our way.
I will always try my best to love you for who you are and not try to change you and take away your identity.
I will not blame you for my unhappiness or bad mood; it is my responsibility to fix this, not yours.
I will always try to communicate honestly and not use the silent treatment when I am hurt.
I will remember to appreciate you for all that you do, including the everyday things that often go unnoticed.
I will try harder to support your decisions, even when I struggle to understand them.
I will try to remember that there is no wrong and no right in love, just two opposing opinions.
I will say sorry and then do whatever I have to, to make it up to you when I have done something that I know has hurt your feelings.
I will try not to be so dramatic when you leave your shoes in the middle of the floor and I trip over them.
And then when I leave my stuff all over the place, I will smile and love you for your patience.
I will not use cruel words to belittle you or to put you down to make you feel worse when things have not gone my way.
I will not keep a scorecard to remember who said and did what, how and when.
I will try harder to be interested in the things that you enjoy and not roll my eyes, edge away and wish you’d hurry along with whatever it is you are saying.
I promise to spoon you often and always; I know that you need love and protection, however strong you appear on the outside.
Although you struggle to understand it sometimes, I will challenge you and question your opinions and actions. It will come from a place of love and intrigue. And it will open your mind to alternative options.
I will try to drink the cups of tea you make for me, appreciate them more and not let them go cold so you have to make another.
I promise to try not to get mad with you when you stay out way later than planned because you had one drink too many and were enjoying your friends’ company and lost track of time. I will keep your side of the bed warm ready for your return.
I will remember that you can’t read my mind; I will ask for what I need and explain to you how I feel.
I will not use games to manipulate your mind, however, I will use them in the bedroom.
I guarantee that your life with me will be unpredictable, exciting and one long adventure. We will explore each other and the world around us and live each day like it was our last.
I’ll always remember to let you know how lucky I am that you have chosen to spend your time and your life with me.
When you change shape and your face wrinkles over the years, I will love you all the more and recognise it as a sign of all the months and years we have spent together.
I promise to have faith in you and give you the benefit of the doubt, I will honour your word as I trust you completely.
I will remember that if I ask you a question, I need to be sure that I can handle the answer first. I cannot be mad with you for speaking the truth.
Before I get angry at you, I will try to remember if I have eaten first, as we both know that this is often the true cause of my mood swings!
I will try to be the best nurse possible when you are unwell (as you know I struggle) and I will remember how well you take care of me when roles are reversed.
I will defend you against all other, regardless of the opponent.
I will not get jealous of your bike, friends or hobbies or anything else that takes your time from me; I will use the opportunity to submerge myself in all the things I enjoy instead.
I will remember not to say “nothing’s wrong” when there clearly is. Communication is the only way forward when problems arise.
Know that you will always be my priority and I will never be too busy with work or too engrossed in a book to notice when you need me.
I will always ask you to repeat the story of the day we met, how you felt and how you fell in love with me quickly and completely.
I will remember that time changes everything, nothing stays the same; just because we have moved to a different stage in our relationship, it does not mean you love me less, it means you love me more completely.
When I am insecure, jealous, or upset about something, I will try to remember that out of over seven billion people on this planet, you chose me.
Our lives took many twists and turns before we met. If anyone of them had turned out differently, our chance may have passed.
Something, somewhere brought us together at exactly the point in our lives we were ready to meet. Was it fate, destiny, the magic of the universe? Whatever it was, it seems as though it was written and I will be forever grateful.
“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being ‘in love,’ which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.” ~ Louis de Bernières