Cracks As Truth Shines Through

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I once defined betrayal as when one person in a relationship is no longer willing to sustain the illusion of what is.  Within that definition,  I have been the betrayed and the betrayor.

I see betrayal as one of the ways the universe offers an opportunity for awakening. I realized tonight that a lot of my anger from past relationships was about when the other person was no longer trying to be who I wanted them to be. All the times I said I was trying to make the relationship work, what I meant was I kept trying to give the other person a chance to buy in to my illusion. How dare they not keep the illusion going after all I had invested in it?

And then I realized I had done something Adyashanti calls spiritualizing the relationship.  I projected a layer of mysticism or spiritual idealism over the relationship.  We were soul mates. We were drawn together in some mystical way. We were following a past life influence.

While any of that may be true or false, it creates a layer of separation in experiencing what is. It kept me from seeing the whole of my experience.  Once the spiritualuzing fell away, there was nothing left.

Except my sorrow over how I had betrayed myself.

Well, now I am awake enough, conscious enough and whole enough to be a lover of what is. Click.  It all just shifted.

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2 thoughts on “Cracks As Truth Shines Through

  1. Tina says:

    If I could i’d express what I feel right now; i’d tell you that while im typing this, staring at the person who I feel betrayed me… I still feel it, like tiny little thorns in my spline, ive felt it all day, since it happened, it aches at my heart and pounds at my head…but now i atleast know, I know that as you wrote, im the one who created the illusion, Im the one who spiritualised, who goaded her into passive acceptance of me and my faults and got angry, and hurtful whenever she showed the slightest sign of “emotional heresy”, and maintained my ‘innocence’ all the way to the gallows. Thank you for writing this, read your other post describing the 2 types of trust and immedialtely felt so high and might about my deeper conscisouness, so sure that the way i trust was logical, mutual, right…gotta go fix things now…if I can. Thank you.

    • wow thank you so much for sharing your experience. It makes me feel happy to know that by sharing peace and clarity that I’ve allowed to rise in myself, it has allowed a similar opening for you too. Light and love on your journey. Hug.

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