Resistance Persistence and Letting Go

5: 00 am, and I have pulled myself out of bed to my meditation space, despite my mind’s inner protestations.  As I try to ease in and focus, my one-eyed cat plays vociferously with the dangling shoots of my spider plant.  The sound of a bus pulling away draws my attention next.  Finally, I nearly give it all up when the dogs whine, confused about why I am sitting at my altar instead of feeding them.

But I didn’t give up.  I sat there, and knew this would not be one of my really wonderful meditation mornings.  Ok, I can accept that. In that moment, I accessed the quiet Source within which all this was being experienced…ah…

personal-freedom-300x199I know the quotation “That which you resist, persists.” I know this. “Attention energizes, and intention transforms. Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life. Whatever you take your attention away from will wither, disintegrate, and disappear.” ~ Deepak Chopra

It is because of exactly that I find myself concerned about how often my thoughts return to old patterns and sources of pain. I begin to obsess about why, what is under it all.  What can I learn.  And ultimately, what is wrong with me.

And right there, just like the surrender in my meditation, I realize I am attaching significance to my conditioned thoughts, which energizes them.  What is worse, I am energizing them with a belief that they occur because of something not good enough about me, my work, my healing, my growth.  Resistance, and persistence.

The conditioned mind is conditioned.  It is meant to react automatically to triggers.  In meditation, when thoughts arise I notice them and let them go.  When my painful thoughts arise, I resist them and energize them. Then wonder why they keep arising.  Why wouldn’t they? They are very well fed!

So, my beautiful pain filled unconscious and triggered thoughts – I love you, you are very interesting, and I let you go now.  I am so much bigger than my conditioning.  I am the awareness of all of this.  Farewell!

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Resistance Persistence and Letting Go

  1. lelahb39 says:

    So beautiful!~ !!! and an important truth for all to read really. Blessings to your journey. It has been really interesting to read what you share through your journey and I feel I have learned from your posts as well.
    It is so true that we are really conditioned to doubt ourselves and feed those negative thoughts. It is also true that it is as simple as (continually if needed) flipping the switch and releasing and opening up to new and more serving thoughts.
    Thank you. as always.
    love

    • Thank you. I am honored that you find my journey interesting. I write because I love to write, and get clarity from that process. It is so beautiful to think that in some way it is useful to another person. I appreciate your words very much.

      • lelahb39 says:

        I hear you. I write for the same reasons and I love to give feedback to those who share such honesties about themselves when it helps me as well. It’s important!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s