I Hope to Meet You


“I hope to meet you.”

Lately, I have been living more virtually. In my work, I have meetings with people from across the country and often from across the province. In my spiritual community, my kula mates are all over the world. My current study partner is in Australia.

Virtual relationships are as satisfying to me as face to face ones. Over the last month, however, I have been told regularly “I hope to meet you.”

I suppose, as an empath and a tantrika, my experience of most people is energetic. It is absolutely lovely to sit over a cup of tea with someone with whom I feel connection. But I am just as excited about my Skype study sessions with my friend in Australia.

What that phrase triggers in me is the awareness of people who have met me but not truly Met Me. People who could interact beautifully with my egoic self, my projected self, but who could not meet Me at Me.

What does that mean? The people with whom I have the most fulfilling relationships have an awareness of the radiant self in them and in me.  This is where we interact. These people often know very few of my “stories” and may not be part of my mundane life. But beyond space and time – we connect. What we are doing isn’t as important as our Being.

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along. ”


Conversations with a Dragon

Gold-Dragon-dragons-28626714-500-259Dragons are always teachers of spiritual knowledge, and can be channeled by anyone who will listen to them.  They love to tell you about every thing they know. There’re sticklers for “tests”, and responsibility to Grace, and know many ways to get you to do the right thing. – Marc Scheidler

 I met a dragon once.  She was glorious, and awesome in the fullest sense.  There were depths and layers to her, and all she said.

“What troubles you?” asked the wise dragon.

“I am frustrated and angry by victims.  I hate it when I see people stuck being a victim,” I replied, with a mix of remorse and righteousness.

“What is a victim?”, she asked, gazing at me in a way that made only truth possible.

“Someone who doesn’t recognize their power.  Someone who wants to stay helpless,” I answered, confident in these views.

“What is power?”, she asked patiently.

“It is not being helpless, not being stuck.  It is movement and freedom,” I began, a bit less confidently.

“No, those are choices people make. That is the illusion of control.  What is it you fear?”, she quizzed, with a gleam in her eye.

I recalled all the times I felt like a victim, and how much I do to make sure I do not feel that way.  In doing so, I have built up armor, and it is heavy to move around.  It is hard to be a radiant being of light when you are carrying fear and armor all the time.  It is hard to express love that way.  I said so to the Dragon.

“You cannot be a victim, nor can anyone else. You are carrying around the energy of that fear and it is blocking you, ” said the Wise One. “Keep your heart open when it is trying to close. Do not resist energies as they pass through you. If you want to put that armor down, just relax and release.  Just let it go.”

She breathed on me, and I felt my energy channels come to life, like clogged pipes that were suddenly clear.

“Thank you, Wise One,” I replied, in deep gratitude. A wave of love surrounded me, meeting my own loving response, and grew into light and harmony.

Loving an Empath – by Alex Myles


Empaths are unique personality types, their sensory levels are always on high alert, they are incredibly intuitive and their awareness and sensitivity to the energy levels that vibrate around them are extremely high.

If an empath senses something, they are not often wrong. If they think someone’s lying or that something is just “not right” you can bet your last dollar that they are not wrong.

Therefore, a basic understanding of this mystical and quite magical creature is highly beneficial.

Empaths have quite a few little quirks, traits and characteristics that are worth knowing about, and gaining a better understanding of, so that any relationship that is formed has a strong survival chance and also so that it thrives.

Empaths can be deeply misunderstood. It can take a little time to get to know them before they fully unravel and until their true magnificent spirit receives the opportunity to shine.

Love with an empath will be intense as they are energetically sensitive, therefore they will pick up on everything and anything that is happening around them. Regardless of whether emotions have been outwardly expressed, empaths will experience their partner’s emotions as deeply as they feel their own.

It is impossible to try to hide true feelings when romantically involved with an empath as they will likely have figured them out long before the person feeling them has. Empaths are highly intuitive yet sometimes fail to trust their inner voice as too many people have previously tried to wrongly convince them that their gut feelings were wrong.

Being a little naïve and trusting at times, the empath has doubted themselves and pushed aside their intuition, causing them to lose faith in the power they hold within that alerts them to any perceived signs of danger. That being said, the little nagging voice in the empath’s head will not subside until the reality and truth has been fully uncovered.

Empaths like truth. However hard it is to handle, they would rather be told things straight than told a lie, even if it is a white one. Although the truth isn’t always pretty, it is much nicer than spending days and nights trying to make sense of all the complicated energies and subliminal messaging systems that are going on.

If it’s one thing that empaths are amazing at it is dealing with a brutally raw and honest relationship. Although they can be rather delicate creatures on some levels, their strength in relationships is found where honesty, trust and loyalty come before anything else.

Empaths can be perceived as having hearts that are caged in. Although, this is only true when they have been deceived so many times they feel that their only option is protection. The true spirit of an empath wants to give and receive love in abundance, though they are only able to do this when they feel safe and secure that they are in a safe place to open the door and allow the love to flow.

One of the most tragic parts about the empaths character is that all too often the love is cast out in all the wrong places. Empaths feel the pain and sorrow of the whole world and feel that they want to heal and fix the world up and make things better for all concerned. This can be an amazingly powerful thing and this energy is exactly what the world needs. However, this can also be a deeply painful way to exist.

Not everyone sees the world the way an empath views it and because of this, an empath’s heart will be broken constantly and they will bleed endlessly for cruelty, injustice and inequalities. There will be many who will want to take the love, affection and the empath’s good nature with no care for giving any return.

Whilst this can teach an empath a lot about unconditional love and also an immense amount about self-preservation, it is also a deeply painful learning process.

An empath will fail to understand why others do not give out care, consideration and affection freely and why other people can so easily turn a blind eye to heartbreak and suffering when healing is what is required. Others may ridicule and belittle the empaths desire to reach out and make a difference, and this serves to add salt to their wounds.

When an empath feels hurt, what they need most is loving support and understanding so that they know they are not alone in wanting to use some of their powerful energy to heal and make changes in the world; if they receive this from a partner, a bond for life will very likely form.

Empaths will fall into the hands of those who want to take advantage of their somewhat naïve and caring nature. Again, this is another sharp lesson and one that can cause an empath to develop a sense of mistrust and what leads to protecting their emotions with barriers and brick walls.

It can also lead to an empath to feelings of unworthiness and also low-self esteem, as once they have depleted their energy reserves to such a low level by giving and not understanding how to protect themselves in the process, they can end up with a broken heart and with very little faith in mankind.

It is not in an empaths nature to take, they only know how to give, so to ensure the relationship is one of balance and is also harmonious, ensure the empath is shown love in the form of actions, so that the circle of love flows freely. Words will mean little to an empath, unless they are followed through. Their intuition will quickly pick up on something done with poor intent, or if a person’s words are inauthentic.

To love someone who is an empath means to recognise that they thrive when the flames are turned up, not down. An empath gives off a powerful and energetic fuel of love, light and radiance, though the fire only fully rages when an empath exists in a sacred place within which they feel secure enough to glow.

Empaths are soft, delicate and immensely vulnerable creatures on the inside, although, once burnt, on the outside they can appear incredibly strong. Once bitten, twice shy where an empath is concerned, they find it very difficult to forget deep wounds and to continue a relationship once foundations are rocked.

The best way to fully connect with an empath is by creating a safe and solid platform to build a future upon. If cracks appear through mistrust and deceit, it can become immensely difficult to repair them. Empaths thrive on trust, loyalty and dependability. Show them these things and the relationship will be very difficult to break.

As empaths are highly passionate people, they will often find a strong connection to a hobby or interest that others will find impossible to penetrate. Due to their creative side, they may find a resonance with music, dance, writing, art, activism, reading, Yoga, meditation, humanitarian causes or other similar interests. Whatever it is that has captured the mind of an empath will be become sacred in their hearts.

Empaths will immerse themselves in their hobbies and lose themselves completely and sometimes this can feel as though their interests are the only things that matter to them. Although they will have a deep attachment to their passions, it is far easier to understand that an empath loves all things at great levels of intensity and they need outside interests to survive and feel alive, this can sometimes be difficult for others to understand.

Space, plenty of space, and freedom to explore and submerge in their chosen activity is the easiest way to deal with this. Asking an empath to choose may not give the desired outcome that would be hoped for. The heart quickly gets connected to passionate interests, and once that connection has been made, the heart will be break if it has to be severed.

Respect and understanding for another’s alone time can make or break a relationship with an empath. An empath will not want or expect anyone else to dive as deeply into their interests as they do, however, an understanding that their interests are significantly important can really make life a whole lot easier.

There is no need to feel ostracised or unwelcome, while there’s a little chance an empath will let you fully in to their special interest, it is far more likely they will gain more pleasure when they are wrapped up in it by themselves. This is not selfish or inconsiderate, it is just simply how the empath’s heart and spirit operate.

If they have a connection to something, it is intense and they will very likely wish to delve as deeply into it as is possible. Passions are a great energy release and empaths will possibly feel as though they zone-out while immersed, and they will very likely lose all track of time. Allow them to take pleasure in it, and with the free time this has created, take up interests separately rather than allowing resentment or frustration to build.

It possibly won’t last for too long, as empaths are known to move quickly from one interest to another once the initial burning desire of connection eventually simmers down.

As empaths are sensitive to energy, their worst-case scenarios are confrontations and aggressive situations. Although under normal circumstances they are one of the least violent and aggressive characters, they can very easily lose their self-control if they become absorbed in the negative and toxic energy that surrounds them. Empaths are fight or flight characters who more often than not, will prefer to take flight and remove themselves from the weight that the energy is bearing down on them.

If situations like this occur regularly, it can eventually lead empaths to become introverted and homebodies as they prefer the safety of their own environment where they are not subjected to the rise and fall of other people’s energies. After attending any kind of social situation, they will need downtime to recharge and to balance out their own energy fields.

Places such as supermarkets, nightclubs, the cinema or anywhere where there is a large crowd of people, will be very draining for an empath. They are very sensitive to light and sound, so these things can also have a detrimental and draining effect on an empath’s psyche. An empath will likely need to hold on to their partner’s hand or arm during such occasions, finding that their partner’s energy forms a soothing welcome block and temporary release from the energies that surround.

After attending any social function an empath may feel completely drained and the effects can be temporarily debilitating, meaning that all an empath will want to do is sleep or rest, possibly alone, until the absorbing effects of the occasion have worn off.

All in all, it will take a very secure, confident and balanced person to form a solid mutually beneficial and rewarding relationship with an empath. The empath personality type is a unique and extremely enchanting gift to the world. As long as their wings are not clipped, and they have the freedom and space to fly, it has the opportunity to be a deeply rewarding, incredibly loving and spiritually awakening relationship for both involved.

A connection with an empath can be a blessing and one of the greatest gifts from the universe as it offers the opportunity to look at the world through the lens of a kaleidoscope. Everything that may have once seemed normal for a relationship will be turned upside down as a new understanding and perspective is learned and the unconscious mind is preened open.

At times it may feel like being in the company of a magically gifted being who has special powers that we have been led to believe do not exist within humans. This can be both a blessing and a curse. Nothing will get past an empath as they see, feel and connect with everything at all times.

The one thing I would strongly recommend is to peel back all the layers that society labels as “norms,” “standards” and “expectations.” We are then free to discover a brand new way of existing; giving and receiving unconditional love, being fully alive in the moment, connecting deep within the core of our primal being and reigniting all the superpowers that are inherent within man.

A relationship with an empath can lead to uncovering special gifts such as intuition, energy awareness, deep connection and a brand new level of understanding the fellow man without the need for speech. All the things the modern world has tried, for far too long, to convince us we should deny.

True love can be a very difficult thing for an empath to achieve, although with the right person, with someone understanding, grounded, free spirited and trustworthy, love can be an intimate, deeply bonding, healing, fulfilling, empowering and healthy addiction that neither will want to break.

Author: Alexsandra Myles

About Alex Myles

Alex MylesAlex Myles is qualified as a Yoga teacher, Reiki Master, Teacher of Tibetan Meditation, Dragon Magic and a Spiritual coach to name just a few. Alex has no intention to teach others on a formal basis for many years to come, instead, she is collecting qualifications along with life’s lessons. One day, when the time is right, Alex will set up a quaint studio, in a quirky crooked building where she will breathe and appreciate the slowness of those days as life is just way too busy right now! Reading and writing has always been one of Alex’s passions. Alex likes to consider herself as a free spirit rather than a commitment-phobe. Trying to live as aligned to a Buddhist lifestyle as is possible in this day and age, she just does not believe in ‘owning’ anything or anyone. Based on the theory that we ‘cannot lose someone that was not ours to lose’ she flails through life finding joy and magic in the most unexpected places. Mother to a 21 year old daughter and three adorable pups, she appreciates that some of the best moments in life are the 6am forest walks watching the dogs run, play and interact with one another and with nature. Connect with her on Facebook and check out her blog, Love and Madness.

Up To The Surface


It is always a revealing inquiry when I experience contrary emotions at the same time. If you were to ask me, I am happier and more fulfilled than at any other point in my life. I am making a difference. I am in service. I am having fun. I am surrounded by kula mates and friends who reflect my values.

So it surprised me to be deeply angry this week. Just Grrrrrr. Like any good mystic, I checked the star charts – nope, no specific influence there so it must be me. I have been deepening my spiritual practice so it makes sense that stuff is coming to the surface.

My spiritual partner advised I do my F- you exercise which helped. I followed that with tantric channel clearing. I felt lopsided and fresher. The imbalance still needed addressing.

Anger makes me feel powerful. But underneath the anger is sadness. Not a place I like to go, at least not without conscious practice. Over the last week, several life events surfaced my vulnerability and my sadness. Something in that makes me feel like a victim. I have tried to move very far from victim consciousness.

“You are everything. All emotions are within you. You are a victim of none of them. Honor all of it,” said my kula mate.

So instead of drowning in fear of sadness or numbing it away, I can settle into my truth: that I am a beautiful powerful energy body that in its true nature can digest and even love every form of energy that passes through it.

Love and Partnership Contract


Jordan Gray says that you can massively improve your relationship by signing this contract with your partner. When you read it, you’ll understand why.

—– Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner. –

Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER), I promise to be gentle with you and your heart.

I promise to allow you to have access to my heart.

I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary to do so.

I promise to put effort into learning how you most like to be listened to, and then listen to you in that way as often as I can.

I promise to love and support you when you need it, and lovingly push and encourage you when you need it.

I promise that I will make myself as emotionally fulfilled as possible in my own life, in order that I can show up as my best self for our relationship.

I promise to be aware of, and own, my own emotional triggers and to never hold you responsible for my emotional response to things.

I promise to not waste precious time or energy worrying about who to place blame on. It gets us nowhere and it distracts from our collective goal of coming back to a place of love and connection.

I acknowledge that you are not your parents… and I am not my parents… and although we likely have some residual habits that they passed on to us, we can choose a new way if their way doesn’t work for us.

I promise to assume that you have the best of intentions. I promise to assume that you are always coming from a place of love.

I promise to love and accept every side of you and all of your emotions, moods, and insecurities.

I promise to support you in your career, hobbies, passions, and anything else that makes you happy. I promise to continually put effort into our relationship.

I promise to make distractions-free connection time a priority on a regular basis.

I promise to have a one-on-one date night with you at least once every month, no matter how busy or stressful life becomes.

I promise to always be open to talking about our sex life, no matter how challenging certain conversations might be to have.

I promise to always look for how you might be hurting in the moments when you try to push me away.

I promise to never hold the relationship hostage. I will never say “Then why are we even doing this?” or threaten our partnership in any way.

I promise to always cherish our relationship and celebrate it as the safe container for growth that it is.

I promise to always make you feel as safe, comfortable, and seen as possible.

Regarding all of the aforementioned statements, I acknowledge that when I say “never” or “always”, I will inevitably make mistakes. I am human, and I am not perfect. But I promise to always do my best and to promptly acknowledge when I have messed up. And above all else, I promise to love you.

Sincerely, (YOUR NAME) –

This post originally appeared at JordanGrayConsulting.com

Living the 1%

There is a saying: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.

I find it curious that only 1% of the population really devotes itself to pursuing awakening (as an estimate – I have no statistics on this).  I realize that is also an expression of consciousness experiencing itself, so I don’t judge it.  Still, it is curious.

Insanity is letting the ego drive the bus, to me.  If you want to be miserable and unhappy, guaranteed, the recipe is really simple: believe what your ego tells you.  Make your worth about what you do, where you live, how much money you have.  Define your happiness by if you have a romantic relationship, if you have lived a life worthy of a movie script, and struggle against what is in front of you right now.  If you wish for something other than what is, you will always be unhappy.

Yet, most of us are taught to behave exactly this way. Why is that?

The systems of enlightenment have been around for thousands of years. “The earliest documented use of the word “Tantra” is in the Rigveda. Tantrism originated in the early centuries of the common era, developing into a fully articulated tradition by the end of the Gupta period. This was the “Golden Age of Hinduism” (ca. 320–650 AD), which flourished from the Gupta Empire (320 to 550 AD) to the fall of the Harsha Empire (606 to 647 AD). During this period power was centralised, trade increased, legal procedures standardised and literacy grew. Mahayana Buddhism flourished, but the orthodox Brahmana culture began its rejuvenation with the patronage of the Gupta Dynasty. The position of the Brahmans was reinforced, and the first Hindu temples emerged during the late Gupta period.” – Tantra

I suspect that the ego’s primary drive is survival, and that is the primary evolutionary drive as well.  Does that mean that enlightenment or awakening puts survival at risk? Quite possibly, it does.  You no longer live in terror of death.  You no longer invest in the value of money.  In some cases, you no longer feel drawn to coupling or raising children.  I am surprised myself by how much more satisfaction I get from my relationships with my kula mates and spiritual partners than I ever did in romantic relationship.

A friend of mine knew that I had booked in to go sky diving while I was in Las Vegas, but the weather did not permit it.  He invited me to do it in my home city, but for some reason, it no longer seemed right.  When he pushed me to understand why I wouldn’t do it, I realized I had fulfilled my need to know I would follow through on my intention (which I did by booking it.) Once the universe stopped it, I already had my desire met.  And at a very real level, I have come to understand that as part of the 1% pursuing awakening, I am on the most incredible journey and adventure there is!  It kind of makes sky diving seem…insane.

Yoga Nidra and Triggers: Dissolving Your Baggage


This was a weekend of intense triggers. It was a year ago that my daughter’s father moved out; a year ago that her godfather dropped by to tell me about his new love; a year ago that I was without a job or the money to be independent; a year ago that I realized how much of my suffering was from my identification with all of this. So it was not surprising when I woke from a terrible nightmare this weekend, trapped in a sense that all of this was happening again, now.  All my spiritual truths disappeared, and for a moment I was paralized with the belief that the horrible things that happened were indeed horrible and that my life was wasted. 

I recognized it as ego death throes, and acknowledged it.  I could return to knowing who it was that was experiencing this.  That didn’t stop the experience however.  It shifted it.  But the energy was still very present, and remained through the day.

Isn’t it remarkable how the ego uses triggers – old symbols of prior conditioning – to show us where we are still holding? In an instant, my entire sense of truth was vaporized.   And yet, just a  few days ago, I was expounding to my kula mate how beautiful my growth was, and how the world was so different for me now.  All of that is true, and now I am equipped to dissolve the residue of those old scripts in my psyche.

It reminded me of Yoga Nidra, where we quickly dissolve mental constructs and shift awareness.  That practice has helped me relax and release so much.  “Yoga Nidra (Sanskrit for Yogic Sleep) is a powerful technique from the Tantra Yoga tradition. It is both a name of a state and of a practice which creates an altered state of consciousness allowing the practitioner to relax and heal their being, expand their faculty of imagination, enter the realm of subconscious & superconscious, effectively manifest seemingly magical changes in their life, certain karmic debris in their life clear (if you believe in Karma) and assist in reaching a state called by some enlightenment.” http://tantrayoganidra.com/

Yoga Nidra has been the perfect tool for when the ego wants to dance another dance with me.  It is a way to move from the grooves of the mind, to seeing how you energize them.  It is a way to let inquiry come to the surface.

So today, I look the terror in the eyes and know it dissolves as I move back to asking Who Am I? Who is aware of these thoughts? Then the illusions of the past crumble.