Fish In The Sea


One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is about The One: the idea that there is a mystical union out there that either occurs rarely or will somehow transform your relationship to bliss. I am not being cynical. I believed in The One. I could quote you chapter and verse on Soul Mates or Anam Cara.

Some writers have started to say The One is really each of us. Some will tell you how to ready yourself and attract your soul mate. I am going to suggest that this is an unhelpful view. It romanticizes a Story, and becomes a menu item that we all want to order. Perfect love that is meant to be? Indeed, sign me up for that! And if you don’t have that experience, then what do you do? I suspect you feel like you are missing something and try to figure out how to fix that feeling.

What if, instead, everyone and everything is meant to be? What if all our experiences are moments of perfect love? What shifts in consciousness when we consider that?

“When I think of you, Gail, it is always with a sense of connection and deep love.” Those were the words of one of the most spiritually awake and emotionally mature men I know. The joy I felt hearing those words filled me and my energy was blissful. More and more, my days are filled with people who are unique, accomplished, loving, gifted, and responsible. I experience connection and it doesn’t require a defined relationship.

My grandmother used to say there were many fish in the sea. I agree. There are many fish. But its the sea – the ground of being – that is where I am.


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