How do you know you are in love? How do you know it’s true love?
That question shaped most of my adolescence. It was so important, it became the focus of my undergraduate research.
But now, I have active resistance to being in a relationship even though my capacity for love is bigger than ever before. Falling in love is no longer even a relevant question. I am “in love” throughout my day, with or without an object. I find myself mildly defensive about relationships – and that tells me I am missing something about what I believe.
Then I heard this description about types of love:
“There are three kinds of love, Human love, spiritual love and divine love. Human love varies and changes. Spiritual love never changes but varies. Divine love never changes, never varies. Its all I have to give away.”- Wayne Dyer
Human love is characteristic of how society views romantic relationship. It is about strong liking and attachment. Spiritual love is demonstrated in parent-child relationship or spiritual partnerships. Divine love is union.
My significant romantic relationships have all been human love. My resistance is to having any more of that. I experience spiritual love with my spiritual partner, and many of my close friends. My longing is for divine love – for union.
Does that preclude a romantic relationship? Absolutely not. It simply means I am drawn to deepening in spiritual love and divine love. Does it mean I need a relationship? Absolutely not. Union is not dependent on an object of love.