The Principle of Non-Interference

As a mom, my guiding principle is to direct my child as little as possible. She is in touch with her truth and my job is to get out of its way. I step in when I believe she is in danger, physically or emotionally.  But otherwise, I ask what my motivation is.

A week ago, when she had friends over, I asked her to help me set the table for breakfast. Her friends turned to her and said, “No let’s go play.” She hesitated and then went with them. The part of me that wishes for her to behave as I want was unhappy. But I realized I had taken her action personally and that I wanted control.  I took a deep breath and let it go.

An hour later, she came and hugged my legs. ” I am sorry, mom. I should have helped. But sometimes it’s hard to listen to that part of me and my love.” She recognized that she didn’t follow her truth and her love. She learned about the difference between her ego and her truth.

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Today, she chose a Halloween costume I don’t approve of – a black angel. But, true to Non-Interference, I let her try it on. I hoped she would not like it when she tried it on. The look of joy on her face when she saw herself in the mirror was disarming.  All hopes of seeing my beautiful child dressed as something cute and innocent faded.

Halloween is about exploring fantasy, shadow and whimsy. My child is loving, kind and gentle. Why wouldn’t she want to see what her shadow feels like? And what kind of spiritual love would I demonstrate by stopping her? Isn’t the divine in all things?  Isn’t it perfect that she sees that?
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On the ride home, she quietly confessed, “I didn’t think you would let me choose.  Thank you.” And she enthusiastically took my hand and hugged my arm.

My child will follow her truth. My job is to let her know it is ok to do that.  In that total acceptance of her, I accept what is. I am in a state of non-resistance and can see the perfection in what is. I see the flow, I see God.

And so it is.

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