Wounds of the Past

For many years, I would develop bronchitis and the cough would last for weeks. I noticed the relationship between that and the romantic relationships I had. When the relationships ended, so did the coughs. 

It surprised me to get a bad flu with a cough this week. But, it makes sense: the September full moon pulls out whatever needs excavation and release. Shortly after the moon, I worked with a kula mate on a new technique and she surfaced old relationship issues embedded in places I had not explored. 

The full moon opens us to letting go and embracing the new. Something very different was occurring for me: several people were showing up from my life in new ways to support me. 

The most beautiful is my daughter. As I coughed last night, she would put her hand on me. The coughing would stop. She slept with me and even in her sleep, if I coughed she put her had on me and it stopped. I recalled all the nights I slept sitting up with her in my arms too. The circle of love and caring  is there.  

I am so grateful for this process. This change is amazing. Seeing my self in contrast to old patterns, and without some of the old patterns, is profound. 

Loving this cycle of life. 


Dancing in Starlight in a Capricorn Moon

“This is crazy,” I thought, as I left my bed. It was so late it was early, as Shakespeare said. I was answering some tug on my soul.  

I quietly went on my back deck,  careful not to let any of my pets slip past me. But unlike me, they were not crazy. They were still asleep. 

I stood listening to the wind in my poplar tree. I had been discussing it’s inevitable removal with an arborist today.  But tonight, it was alive with whispers. 

A soft rain fell. When I was under the tree, it protected me from being soaked. Instead, I was gently sprayed, as if I were standing on the ocean’s edge at night. 

“Come play,” whispered the tree. “Yes,” teased the raindrops, “Dance with us.”

“This is crazy,” I muttered a second time. I was recovering from a back injury. I needed sleep for work tomorrow.  I needed…

…to dance in the rain. I needed to feel the wind in all its wildness. I needed starlight.  I needed to answer the pull of the Capricorn moon. 

“I will pay for this tomorrow, ” my mind tried one last futile attempt to push me back to bed. 

“Maybe…or maybe I have paid for sensibility too long. Maybe it’s time to follow my soul when it longs for something. ”

And I sang softly. I sang to the coaxing tree and to the silken grass under my bare feet.  I sang to the moon and the stars. I sang my freedom and peace.

I used to  wake and sit alone in my living room at midnight feeling unfulfilled longings. No more.