Wounds of the Past

For many years, I would develop bronchitis and the cough would last for weeks. I noticed the relationship between that and the romantic relationships I had. When the relationships ended, so did the coughs. 

It surprised me to get a bad flu with a cough this week. But, it makes sense: the September full moon pulls out whatever needs excavation and release. Shortly after the moon, I worked with a kula mate on a new technique and she surfaced old relationship issues embedded in places I had not explored. 

The full moon opens us to letting go and embracing the new. Something very different was occurring for me: several people were showing up from my life in new ways to support me. 

The most beautiful is my daughter. As I coughed last night, she would put her hand on me. The coughing would stop. She slept with me and even in her sleep, if I coughed she put her had on me and it stopped. I recalled all the nights I slept sitting up with her in my arms too. The circle of love and caring  is there.  

I am so grateful for this process. This change is amazing. Seeing my self in contrast to old patterns, and without some of the old patterns, is profound. 

Loving this cycle of life. 

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Dancing in Starlight in a Capricorn Moon

“This is crazy,” I thought, as I left my bed. It was so late it was early, as Shakespeare said. I was answering some tug on my soul.  

I quietly went on my back deck,  careful not to let any of my pets slip past me. But unlike me, they were not crazy. They were still asleep. 

I stood listening to the wind in my poplar tree. I had been discussing it’s inevitable removal with an arborist today.  But tonight, it was alive with whispers. 

A soft rain fell. When I was under the tree, it protected me from being soaked. Instead, I was gently sprayed, as if I were standing on the ocean’s edge at night. 

“Come play,” whispered the tree. “Yes,” teased the raindrops, “Dance with us.”

“This is crazy,” I muttered a second time. I was recovering from a back injury. I needed sleep for work tomorrow.  I needed…

…to dance in the rain. I needed to feel the wind in all its wildness. I needed starlight.  I needed to answer the pull of the Capricorn moon. 

“I will pay for this tomorrow, ” my mind tried one last futile attempt to push me back to bed. 

“Maybe…or maybe I have paid for sensibility too long. Maybe it’s time to follow my soul when it longs for something. ”

And I sang softly. I sang to the coaxing tree and to the silken grass under my bare feet.  I sang to the moon and the stars. I sang my freedom and peace.

I used to  wake and sit alone in my living room at midnight feeling unfulfilled longings. No more.